Drive myself Crazy
by ushi no hime
Summary: Eriol's lust drove him to cheat on his wife Tomoyo...But his action paid a huge price...some lemon stuff...crap summary sorry but read the ficcy to find out more...ExT...i personally like this so i hope you will too...:


Um….about my other fic…at the beginning…im having a writers block at that one…so might take awhile til I upload a chap…neways heres a once shot…enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ccs or the song Drive myself crazy by NSYNC

**Drive Myself Crazy:**

_Lying in your arms  
So close together  
Didn't know just what I had _

Tears…hot tears dampen the silk covered pillows. The vast room is dark, the only source of light is from the opened doors of the veranda, where the full moon can be clearly seen up in the sky…and the only sound that can be heard is the faint sobbing of a broken man…named Eriol Hiiragizawa. A certain raven haired girl made him happy and complete. However his pinning for a woman way older than him blinded him from the truth….or did he choose not to believe? Eriol Hiiragizawa _was_ a successful man…now he's gone…wasted…

_Now I toss and turn  
Cause I'm without you  
How I'm missing you so bad_

'_how could I be so stupid! Tomoyo, come back to me. Please….Tomoyo…'_ his heart cries…No matter how much he curses himself now or how much he wished he could turn back time…nothing will make a difference…how ironic…he's a powerful sorcerer however he can't even cast a simple spell to turn back time…why? Because this will unbalance the force and will create more problems. Bottom line is that he shouldn't have strayed. He had a loving wife but all he did was make her suffer…

_Where was my head?  
Where was my heart?  
Now I cry alone in the dark _

"Tomoyo? Hey it's me….I'll be a little late tonight oki?" he whispered on his cellphone, trying to disguise his sharp intake of breath.

"Oh…But I prepared your favourite dish. Well then I'll wait for you I guess…" the sadness of her tone didn't even made him guilty…his lust deafened him.

"No! I mean no…no…don't wait for me. Eat with Nakuru or Spinel…I-I have too much work…Ahh-I'll have to finish them tonight. Anyway I'm gonna co- go! I gotta go..."

" Oh ok.. I lov-"

"Bye." and then he groaned loud…echoing in the dark empty office room.

beep beep beep beep beep…he didn't even let her finish…he's a cruel bastard. He have a wife yet he seeks pleasure from another woman. He'd even used his magic just to be with the one and only Kaho Mizuki. Her scarlet hair drives him with lust that his raven haired wife couldn't induce out of him. Why? Because since they were in high school he vowed he'll take the scarlet lady and make her his. So why did he marry the innocent nightingale of Tomoeda? Out of duty call…request from the dying Sonomi Daidouji…

----------flashback-----------

"Take care of my baby for me Eriol…promise me!"

"Yes Daidouji-san I promise I'll take care of her."

"Marry her…I know you're a good man. Marry her and make her happy." Every breath from the woman takes away the little life she have in herself.

"Yes I will Daidouji-san."

"P-Promise M-me..."

"I'm a man of my word…I promise you I'll marry her."

"T-thank You………"

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_  
--------_end of flashback----------

Yes he's a man of his word…how ever he failed to make Tomoyo happy…yes he failed miserably.

_I lay awake  
I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy  
Thinking of you_

"Ne, Nakuru-chan, Do you think Eriol is cheating on me?" uncertainty evident in the sweet voice of Tomoyo Daidouji.

"Mistress! How could you think such an impossible thought! Of course not! You're his world!" Nakuru exclaimed. Tomoyo only looked down in reply…

A winged cat watches them from a far. Although it was impossible for him to feel any sympathy…he is feeling it right now for the innocent girl who his master has been taking for granted. Yet he cannot do anything for his loyalty still lies for his master, which now he loathes.

Ding. Dong.

"He's home now!" Tomoyo smiled which brightened up her sad face and she literally ran to the giant oak doors. Nakuru watched the nightingale with sad eyes…indeed it was their master.

"Hey there Tomoyo…" he hugged her…an empty hug.

"Hey…Are you tired?" she pretended not to notice the faint smell of a woman's perfume, the love bite half hidden by his collar and the empty hug that moistened her eyes.

" es, very…I'm gonna take a shower now and go to bed. Goodnight."…an empty kiss.

"….Night…" Tomoyo replied. Eriol walked out on her. Nakuru could only look down. When she looked up again she meet two amethyst orbs drowning in tears.

_Made a mistake  
When I let you go baby  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do_

"Master we need to talk."

"Not now Nakuru…I'm doing a deadline"

"Yes now master…now…" growled the feline.

"Why are my guardians ganging up on me?" he laughed sarcastically.

"We are not ganging up on you master…but why? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MISTRESS TOMOYO!" Nakuru shouted.

"DOING WHAT EXACTLY NAKURU? HMMM?" he yelled back.

"There's no need to be defensive master…Indeed it is an accusation of you doing something but your reaction confirmed to me that you are cheating on mistress Tomoyo." the feline challenges his creator.

"What you are accusing me of is nothing but lie…Is this what you are gonna talk to me about? Because if it is, you're wasting my time!"

"Master, how long will you make her suffer? She loves you dearly, yet I don't know if you're just dense or you pretend not to notice? What does Kaho Mizuki have that Mistress Tomoyo doesn't have?" Nakuru was shaking in anger.

"You don't understand Nakuru…"

"Mistress gives you everything…All of her…She vowed to be your wife and stay with you in sickness and in health…for richer or for poorer…demo...I don't remember her vowing she'll stay with you in a tangled lies of infidelity!"

"You don't undertand Nakuru…."

"THEN MAKE ME UNDERSTAND!" she shouted. Eriol suddenly pushed back his chair which made a loud scraping noise. Damaging the shiny red-wooden floor. He slowly walks closer to his guardians.

"You wanna understand? Is that what you want? What if I tell you, I don't understand myself either! Do you think I wanted to cheat on her! DO YOU!" he bellowed .

"Then why are you Master?" the feline looked squarely at his master. Eriol looked away…

"I'm afraid I can't answer that Spinel." he then walked back to his chair to continue on his works.

"Sooner or later, she'll find out Master….she'll find out…" Spinel said while looking at Nakuru who's crying endlessly.

"I see… Gonna tell her are we?" he laughed. A bitter laugh.

"No. I'm not gonna say anything once I left this door, for my loyalty stays with my creator. However to make things clear, all I have for you right now is the respect as your guardian for you are the one who created me. Nothing else…" and with that Spinel left the room. Nakuru stood up to follow the feline but halted. She stood in front of the door looking at Eriol's back.

"It's not too late to change Master…It's not too late. But if you still continue this I will be ashamed for all eternity to be related to you in any form."

Eriol heard the door closed. He laughed and laughed hysterically. Then he realised he's crying too…and then he cried and laughed at the same time. '_Yes…I'm insane…I'm a selfish insane prick…'_ and his laughter and cries resonating in the room.

_  
I was such a fool  
I couldn't see it  
Just how good you were to me_

Ringg…Ringg…Tomoyo rushed to the phone.

"Hello? Hiiragizawa residence"

"I'm calling for Eriol." Tomoyo was surprised with the informality of the caller.

"May I know who's calling please?" she asked quietly

" Kaho. Kaho Mizuki " the caller sighed in impatience. Tomoyo told the lady to hold on as she's gonna call Eriol. She knocked on their room and found out that Eriol's in the shower. She knocked on the door softly.

"You have a phone call." she pressed her right ear against the door.

" From who? "

" A lady named Kaho Mizuki. " she can hear the taps being turned off. And rushed movements inside.

"Tell her I'll be in the meeting soon. I'll be quick as I possibly can." Tomoyo looked at her watch. '_A meeting at 10:30 pm?'_ in the back of her head, someone is screaming, '_HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!'_ but refused to entertain that thought. She trusts Eriol and she knows he won't hurt her. Eriol bid a quick goodbye and a peck on her cheek. The two guardians watched him leave from a window in the library. Tomoyo felt chilled all of a sudden and decided to go to their room and read a book while waiting for her beloved husband. As she sits on their bed, his papers on the table caught her attention. '_Oh no! he left his papers!'_ she quickly grabbed a coat and stuffed Eriol's papers in a briefcase. She told the guardians that she'll be back shortly. Nakuru and Spinel heard a roar of car engine as Tomoyo drives away.

"This is the night." Spinel said and Nakuru nodded.

"Who was the woman who picked up the phone Eriol?" Kaho gasps as Eriol fondled her breasts.

" My new maid. " he groaned as Kaho wrapped her long legs around his torso and pulled him closer followed by a rampant kiss.

" I thought it was Tomoyo…" she sighs as Eriol licked her bosoms. Sending her in nirvana.

" Even if it's Tomoyo she wouldn't notice anything…I mean we've been doing this for 3 years now…" he said in between kissing, licking and sucking Kaho's flesh.

" Y-You mean. for 2 years…You've been married for 3 years my dear Eriol and you tried to deny me for the first year…" she hastily took off his shirt and bitten him on his neck. He let out a loud gasps.

" Yeah…My bad…" and at last they were both naked.

Eriol's strong arms are wrapped around Kaho's naked body while her legs are still wrapped around his torso. They started moving in rhythm when Kaho suddenly screamed. Eriol turned around and behind him, Tomoyo stood with his papers lying on the ground. But what surprised him was her empty amethyst orbs which seemed like it lost it's sparkle and the endless drops of tears.

_You confessed your love  
Undying devotion  
I confessed my need to be free_

Nakuru cried suddenly. The pain in her chest is so powerful she had to cry. '_It's over'_ she looked at spinel who gave her a sad look while flying to the phone.

"Hello?" the genki cherry blossom asked.

"Sakura?"

"Suppi-chan what's with th-"

"You're friend will need you badly tonight. Please be there for her…"

"Hoe…?"

"Goodbye."

Beeeeep. Nobody knew it will be too late..

And now I'm left  
With all this pain  
I only got myself to blame

Eriol stood frozen for a whole sixty seconds. The past 3 years of his marriage flashed before his very eyes. In that 3 years of his marriage to Tomoyo all she showed him was her kindness and undying love. However at night or even in broad daylight he would cheat on her and it didn't even made him guilty. Until now…He pushed Kaho away with great force that she almost fell out of the table. Getting dressed quickly he grabbed his car keys. Kaho tried to stop him. She hugged him from behind.

"NO! Don't leave me Eriol. We've been doing this for 2 years now so why don't we just continue it? At least now we don't have to hide. Leave her Eriol…You have me!" she cried. Eriol removed her arms and looked at Kaho's eyes. _'Once upon a time, I go crazy with the sparkles of her eyes… Once upon a time lust blinded me with just a flick of her scarlet hair…Once upon I time I was nothing but a selfish monster…'_

"I'm sorry Kaho, I shouldn't have done this. I'm a bastard…I'm sorry but my wife needs me…" Eriol started running away.

"BUT YOU DON'T LOVE HER! BECAUSE IF U DID, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SLEPT WITH ME!" Kaho screamed and it reverberated against the empty building.

'_Do I love Tomoyo? Do I?' _His brain was suddenly filled with Tomoyo's sweet smiles. Her kind gestures. How she would cuddle against him at night. How she would put his hand against her belly. How she kisses him to wake him up in the morning. How she hugs him when he's tired and how her sweet scent will lull him to sleep…

'_I do...I DO LOVE TOMOYO! Tomoyo! Please wait for me my plum blossom! Let me apologise! Please Tomoyo…please Tomoyo…please Tomoyo…' _he said repeatedly as if it was a mantra. He checked the parking lot and found her car there. He quickly got into his car and brought it to life._ 'If she ran and I use my car I might find her on the street!'_

_Why didn't I know  
(How much I loved you baby)  
Why couldn't show it  
(If I had only told you)  
When I had the chance  
Oh I had the chance_

Tomoyo was running against the empty streets. Her tears blinded her vision but she didn't care. The pain of seeing Eriol with another woman was crushing her heart and making it difficult to breathe. She couldn't think properly and she tripped over, her head hitting the pavement hard making her dizzy. A stranger grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

"Th-thank you…" she said softly, trying to focus her vision on the stranger…she's seeing three of them.

"Ano…please let me go, I'm seeing three of you and I'm dizzy…" she stammered. She felt hot liquid flowing against her left cheek. Then the middle guy laughed evilly.

"We'll you're a lucky one... Or should I say WE'RE the lucky one…?" another evil laughter.

"Babe there ARE three of us…" fear started creeping from Tomoyo's spine.

"Let me go…." she said once more. The third guy grabbed her other arm.

"LET ME GOO!" nobody heard her scream….

Eriol was entering a dark street. _'Tomoyo…where are you!'_ his heart cried. He's been searching for the past 4 hours now. But to no avail. At the end of the street there were people gathered around, paramedics and police officers. He was about to turn around to avoid the commotion if he didn't feel the aura of the card mistress. He got out of his car and ran toward Sakura.

"Sakura! What's happening!" he yelled as he got closer to her. Sakura looked up and anger flashed in her eyes and stayed there. Behind her Nakuru came closer with the feline on her shoulder. Spinel looked down and Nakuru pointed the pavement with her piercing stare…Eriol felt shaky when he saw a hug amount of blood on the pavement.

'_No stay cool…You don't know what happened yet…don't break down now! Tomoyo's probably injured but that can't be her blood…It can't be!'_

The next sixty minutes happened in a haze. Eriol barely remembered the police asking him about his wife and how Nakuru answered most of the questions as his brain couldn't think about anything but the blood on the pavement and Tomoyo. He couldn't even remember getting back in his car with Nakuru driving and Sakura and Spinel at the passenger seats. They went to the hospital. Sakura started crying and Nakuru hugged her. Eriol tried to ask the nurse in the help desk about Tomoyo's room number. But the nurse didn't know. He was about to create a scene when a doctor introduced himself and announced that he knows where Tomoyo is.

"Are you Tomoyo Daidouji's relatives?" he asked calmly.

"Yes! I'm her husband! She's her cousin and Nakuru's my cousin! Where is she!" he demanded. He wants to see his plum blossom now. He wants to hug her, kiss her endlessly and apologise for being a selfish prick. The doctor quietly led them to a big cold room. Sakura only cried louder. Nakuru started crying as well while Spinel hid his head on Nakuru's neck.

'_What's all this!' _he's heart cried, he didn't realised he said it aloud as well.

"Mr Hiiragizawa, please respect the hospital, the other patients and the other bodies in this morgue."

"Morgue! Where's my Tomoyo! Where's her room! Why did you bring me in the morgue? I want to go to her room!"

"Mr Hiiragizawa…this is her room. She's lying right over there." the doctor pointed a covered corpse in a metal table. Eriol shakily walked towards the table. _'This can't be true…this can't be!'_ he slowly lifted the white cloth and a pale face of an angel was revealed.

"NO!" he cried. He hugged Tomoyo's body as he cried his heart out.

"NO! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD! BRING HER TO LIFE! BRING HER TOO LIFE!" he cried at the doctor who shook his head slowly.

'_Tomoyo! NO! You can't leave me!'_

"I'm sorry Mr Hiiragizawa…She was gang rapped and stabbed 14 times. It was impossible for her to survive. And even more impossible for the life growing inside her belly to make it." the doctor announced. Eriol froze. '_Life…in her belly!…'_

"What do you mean?" he asked the doctor all this making him sick .

"You didn't know? Mr Hiiragizawa your wife's 3 months pregnant. I'm sorry." and the doctor left.

"TOMOYO! I'M SO SORRY! DON'T LEAVE MEE!" he cried once more. His anguish taking over him until he passed out.

_I lay awake  
I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy  
Thinking of you_

_Made a mistake  
When I let you go baby  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do_

Eriol continued sobbing until he heard his alarm. 5:00am…Another sleepless night. Why did he even bothered to set his alarm clock when he doesn't even use it? he hardly sleeps…_ 'Because Tomoyo usually get up at this hour to fuss about my breakfast.' Tomoyo…_Another empty morning…Empty day…Empty life…His guardians decided to stay but he told them they can leave. But they didn't. It didn't made a big difference though…that they stayed…he hardly speaks to them and vice versa. He curled up in his bed…hoping he could still feel Tomoyo cuddled in his chest…feel her morning kisses or the way she would guide his hands to her belly. His daughter or son would've been 3 years old now…He's been suffering for 3 years now…Karma…what goes around, comes around…He cried once more as he drowns in the dark void that endlessly cries for Tomoyo….

The end

--------------------------------------

i know it's a very long oneshot...hehe but i hope you enjoyed it...REVIEW please...i wrote this early in the morning coz i couldnt sleep so there might be some errors...and my spelling in my opening note...like sum instead of some...that's just how i normally type online... flames will be ignored coz if you dont like the ficcy dont review then...neways gonna hunt for sum songs to write a ficcy about...  
p.s i got a feeling that the song doesnt seem to suit the ficcy...i mean it's dark and adult ish and the songs for teens...lol but yeah review and tell me wat you think : )


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